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Sylvana Neme Scheij-Psychotherapist MFT/PCC

How to Deal with Frustration Without "Losing Your Mind"

Yes, you know what I am talking about. It is something that all of us have experienced one time or many. You are more than "just a little upset" that things are not going as planned, right? The reasons to get to this point are endless!

Maybe you and your partner are talking about the budget, but you do not seem to agree on any of the items you discuss.

Or, there is only one checkout line open at the grocery store; even worse, you finish shopping, and you return to your car only to find a flat tire. Perhaps you are getting very close to achieving a goal, yet you are still missing that last inch and cannot quite get to the finish line. I know, I have been there too.

Now you begin to wonder, “Are people (or life) conspiring to test my ability to deal with frustration?” Sometimes it might feel like this nonsense could be enough to make you think you are about to lose your mind.




Here are a few simple, but effective strategies to soothe your frustrations and find inner peace:


Ask your Divine Self why you are frustrated. Usually, frustration means you are not getting what you want. Are you trying to accomplish something by yourself, or do you want that something from someone else?

● The first step is to see the clues, recognize that you are frustrated.

● The second step, equally important, is to understand why.


Pause or disrupt the pattern. If your frustration seems to get the best of you, it is wise to take a break, disengage from its source for a while. Do something that you delight in or find distracting. A good book, your favorite hobby, music, or lunch with somebunny can be a practical option.

● Create a “first aid list” of 10 (or more) ways and things you can do to take an enjoyable break.


Do physical activity. Exercise will provide you with new perspectives. It is also a wholesome way to burn up your (negative) excess energy. Go out for a quick run or a bike ride. Also, you can do simple movements or exercises. The point is to use your muscles, maybe even break a sweat, and get your heart pumping. Salsa, tango, or your favorite dance can be very therapeutic in these cases.


Determine what obstacle is standing in your way. What is your hurdle? Do you believe it is a lack of expertise? Are you waiting for somebody to do something that s/he will not do? Furthermore, is it something you can control? If the situation is beyond your control, why would you get into turmoil?

● If you think you can manage the obstacle, just do it.


Assess your attitude. An exasperated or annoyed mood never helped anything. Only a positive and constructive perspective will help. Evaluate your attitude, and if it is not optimum, adopt one that will benefit the situation. A poor attitude usually creates more challenges instead of solving them.



Create a plan. Perhaps you need a new way or tactic. Think about this, what could be a better way to achieve your goals? What can you do better or differently? Once you designed a plan, go ahead, and execute it. If that method does not work, craft a new strategy, and try again. Keep going, never give up, and you will succeed.


Take time to relax. This should be first on the list. When the mind is at ease, all else becomes an easier "problem" to deal with. Always is the perfect time for deep breathing, meditation, or yoga if you are into it. Sometimes easy-listening music is what you need. Make a daily habit of the activities that relax and calm you.


See frustration as a positive sign. That is correct. Everything in life has two sides; just the same, the coin of frustration does too, though we usually only admit the negative or "bad" part. There is a positive aspect too, when you understand that you should be doing something, or everything, differently.

Experience taught me that it is best to use frustration to fuel your determination rather than a pretext to give up.



Frustration could drive you furious if you let it.
  1. Observe and become familiar with your feelings.

  2. Determine if there is a way out or a solution that you can devise.

  3. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do about an annoying situation. If that is the case, the best you can do is cherish self-care and work on your emotional state.


If you feel overwhelmed, lost, or out of energy to deal with the issues, call and get professional help!

We at Beyond Conventional Therapy have the expertise and the heart to help you eliminate the frustrations that come along in life. We listen to your concerns, and together, we design the plan that best fits your needs.


Remember, if there is a solution, then quiet yourself, be still, create the strategy, and put your answer into action. Daily practice of relaxation skills can be a big help during these trying times.

Also, think of the good side; frustration can be a positive sign that you are about to make a breakthrough. So, allow yourself to recognize this fact and patiently accept it, to get past it more easily. Then, prepare to see what is waiting on the other side for you!





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