Everybody goes through this issue; life presents us with something we cannot control. Of course, when I say IT, I am not referring to Information Technology. In fact,in this case"IT" is more about disinformation. IT is something that leaves you wondering, not knowing what to do, what it is for, not even knowing what to think. To add to the proverbial cherry on top of the cake, there is not one single human to lend you a helping hand. Not a great place to be.
Time and time again, you had to deal with situations that you could not control. Things like illness, a car accident, financial difficulties, or another challenge. Even worse (for those of you teenagers at heart), it could be the pain of a romantic disillusion that broke your heart!
While these events distress you causing sadness, frustration, pain; and negatively impacting your physical and mental health, none of these incidents are under your control. You suffer from the direct effect of those events, and your outlook on life becomes "gloom and doom," however you cannot change anything about them.
Learning how to deal with the things and events you cannot control will help keep you positive and alleviate your stress. Moreover, it will contribute to maintaining your mental health, well... healthy! :)
Accept that you cannot control anything, or you will continue stressing over things and eventually you will get sick. Please, please stop!
Remember these wise words from Dr. Wayne Dyer: "I can't always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside". As you repeat this as a mantra every day, and Love yourself more, life will become easier :) I Promise you that.
Check out these tips and ideas that will help you cope
Consider the wonderful Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Niebuhr:
“God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
The calming effect of these words is a soothing solution to a problem that disturbs all of us. Also, in my opinion, it could help save someone's life, literally. For this concept to make sense, it is vital to understand that stress causes many diseases and in the worse cases, even death.
When we come to terms with the fact that we can not control anything except for our thoughts and actions, we learn to accept things as they are.
Now we can begin walking the path to find peace.
So, Can You Control Anything?
The short answer is "No." By stressing yourself over the things, events, and the people you cannot control, you will cause all kinds of health issues. Problems such as heart and digestive issues, high blood pressure, and sleeping difficulties are only a few of them.
Sad as it may be, there are cases when you will need to distance yourself from those that bring a "bad vibe" into your life. When you have friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc., that cause you to stress, it may be time to look for new friends...
If you need to feel more in control of your life, focus on those things that you can physically change and let go of those you cannot.
Deciding who to accept as your friends and spend your time with them is something you can control. It may or may not be easy to meet new friends, but opportunities abound if you look for them.
If the people in your life do not encourage you to fulfill your potential or reach your goals, maybe you need to find new friends and surround yourself with positive energy.
Having the support of people who believe in you will propel you toward reaching your lifelong goals.
Alway beware of these contagious "diseases": negativity, pessimism, fear, victimhood, etc., because they can get you, slowly but surely, on their same boat. Remember that, "He who walks with the lame, soon begins to limp." These people can drag you down because you adopt the mood of those around you.
Living in the Now
There is a certain magic in living in the present moment. If you consider each day as a gift, your struggles don’t seem as dreadful.
Often life deals us pretty wrong hands, such as death, financial challenges, heartache, illness, and more. These are, in the end, disguised opportunities for change.
How you choose to cope with the misfortunes of life can make you stronger or crush you.
Learn what is best for you, do not let your circumstances or other people influence you negatively.
When you begin to feel gratitude for the good moments, you begin to accept your not-so-good ones, and begin to walk the path to new beginnings.
Coping with Financial Difficulties
In our times, financial difficulty is one of the most stressful situations to cope with effectively. Loss of a job (like many people experienced with the covid crisis) often means having to give up some or all the things you have worked hard to acquire.
Suppose you have a hard time accepting that you have to cut expenses and give up the comfortable things in life, even temporarily. In that case, it might help to remember that it is only a temporary situation, and you can change that.
When you take the time to express gratitude for having your home and good health, you realize that there are people who have neither.
What if you suffered financial loss and temporarily had to adapt to living with less? Once you recognize that you can be happy that way, life gets easier. In that case, not only will you be more optimistic, but also you will be able to refocus on your goals.
Another valuable tool: the practice of acceptance.
While embracing things as they are does not come easy for everyone, with constant and conscious practice, anybody can learn. It may not be easy for some people to learn true acceptance, although for those who do, the doors of the Heavens will open for them.
The beauty of accepting that you cannot change anything or anybody (but you), is that you will develop the power to discern the things you cannot change, from those you can. Besides, you will become free from the negative thoughts and emotions that can suffocate you into sad self-approval.
When you use these ideas to help you cope with that which is out of your control, you remove opposition from your life. An added benefit is that you will find peace of mind, joy, and you will rediscover your innate passion for persevering through all challenges.
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