Today might be covid-19, yesterday maybe financial hardship, a loss, etc. Tomorrow could be a disease or an old difficulty that returns to our lives.
As long as we breathe, we will find challenges along the way. What we must consider is not just the harsh situations, but how we perceive them and how we react to them. Those elements will determine the successful outcome and our accomplishments, or not.
In this section I would like to share some ideas that will help you find the inner peace you need to thrive and successfully overcome difficult times.
1. Give yourself the same advice that you would give a friend. I know it is not always easy to make decisions when you are emotionally involved. However, the path forward is more evident to you, and it is easier to find solutions when the struggle is someone else's.
* Imagine that a friend has the same challenge you are facing.
What advice would you give them? Redirect those loving words toward yourself, so you will calm your mind and thoughts before you consider your options.
2. Ask yourself, what may I learn from this experience?Are you learning to be gentle and loving with yourself? Do you understand the significance of saving money? Are you learning not to overstretch beyond your limits? Perhaps the death of a loved one is a first-time experience? Are you discovering how to face life changes? I know this may not be easy to do, but when in the midsts of a struggle, I ask you to please remember:
* Every hardship provides a lesson.
Explore, dig, and find out what you can learn from each "stone on the road".
3. Write in a journal. A definite "magic" happens in your brain when you write about your feelings. Let your emotions flow out onto paper, and you will find that there is something cathartic about writing.
* When you write, you feel like the sentiment leaves your body to take residence in a different space.
After you unload your negative emotions, use your journal to make a list of possible answers to your problem. What are the resources you might have accessible? Whom can you ask for help or support?
4. Identify your fear. If you are not feeling in the right balance, more likely, you are fearful. Do you know what could be that frightens you? Identifying and defining your fear will make it less scary.
* Remember, the root of every negative emotion is fear. Always!
When you see the thing that scares you, decide if it can hurt you or help you. If you ask, what is the worst thing that could happen? You might discover that it is not as bad as you thought.
5. Practice mindfulness. "Mental chatter" is a pernicious practice we all fall for at one time or another. We make our challenges more puzzling by incessantly stirring through them. You ruminate about your issue in the shower, or while driving to work, during a coffee break, talking with friends, even while watching television. You never get a break.
* Mindfulness means being present, being in the moment, paying attention to your task at hand.
If you’re eating dinner, focus on eating and enjoying every bite, not thinking about your difficulties. Yes, it can be challenging to control your thoughts, and it takes practice. However, once you accomplish this goal through daily practice, the peace you will fl is an incredible experience.
6. Discipline your mind first. Most people make this common mistake, to think that you will feel better if you solve your challenge first. This approach might sound logical, although it is a slow and distressing process.
* Get your mind under control first, and your problem becomes an easier task to solve.
Also, you will feel better sooner. Stop the "mental chatter" first, and searching for solutions will be stress-free.
7. Remember all of your previous issues that turned out all right. Think about the challenges you have faced in the past. You survived and moved on. You will get over this, too.
* Believe that all things will work out in your favor and for the best, and they will.
For instance, think about the following:
· What was the worst thing that happened during your elementary school years?
· What was it during high school?
· How about during your early 20’s?
At that moment, these might have seemed like "a terrible thing" to you. However, those things passed, you overcame, and maybe even forgot. Know that you are in the right place at the right time, and, "this too shall pass."
8. Seek help and you will find the helpers. Whether there is a fire, an earthquake, a homeless family, or a negative emotion troubling someone's heart, there is always someone helping. In the same manner, people are willing to help you, too. Look for the helpers, and you’ll find them. On great thing I learned is that "what you seek is seeking you" (Rumi).
Something else to keep in mind
Distress is a typical reaction to life's sudden turns. Our responses to hardship are habitual and repetitive. However, we can alter or break our bad habits and create new ones. At Beyond Conventional Therapy, we help you change your wrong beliefs, including those stating that your negative feelings happen to you, like bad weather. Such a concept is not true. You can choose your focus and manage your thoughts. When you find inner peace, it is much easier to overcome your challenges.
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